It has been a crying wk for many of us.

I just sent away my godsis on fri morn at 11plus. Though it has been a wk bt till nw i still cant accept the fact tat she had left us for good.

Thinkin back, I rmb meeting her last yr on Dec 13th, Thurs at Northpoint Cold Storage. She was shopping happily wif her husband & 2 kids. And April 13th was my last fone call wif her.

Even though doc said she's left wif 3 to 6 mths bt i seriously tot she could make it. Nv did i expect her 2 leave us so soon. But looking frm her pt of view, its reali enuf. She had been suffering for the past 3 yrs. Having to go for so many checkup, chemo, injection, exercising n aso her medications. Its reali nt ez. If its mi, probably i would have gif up earlier than her.

Haiz~

When i 1st went on tue nite, the moment i saw her young n pretty pic hanging at the funeral, my heart sank n tears welled up my eyes. Was tat real??? I noe it was but i'm still hopin tat it was just a nitemare. Sum1 who used to be so closed to mi when i was young, suddenly left. Hw can i accept???

I plucked up my courage n tot i could get 2 c her for the very last time but hu noes, the coffin cover was closed. Bt i can understand, she doesnt want all of us 2 feel sad n cry when we c her face. Perhaps we shld hav go against her wish n visit her during her stay in hosp.

Haiz~ Bt wats the pt of saying all these?? She's gone.

But i noe my pain can nv be compared to my godmum's. For these past few yrs, she devoted most of her time on her. But nw her beloved daughter will nv be back. Can u imagine the pain in her?? Tat nite she came forward, hugged my mum n cried. It was such a sour scene. I couldnt endure my tears either. I told myself i cant cry infront of her, i've gt to be strong but its impossible.

But worst has yet to come.

Fri was the last day of funeral but it was raining heavily early in the morn. The older ple always say its nt gd 2 rain n perhaps tat adds on to my godparents' sorrows. Tat was the 1st time i saw my godfather crying.

再强的人也有权利去流泪...

And my godmum was crying non stop frm the morn till the end of the funeral. I was sitting bside n consoling her. But i myself cant control my tears. The sight of my godmum crying so bitterly as though sum1's tearing her flesh n heart out is reali heartbreaking.

Who can endure such a scene???

I can understand her feelings... which mum can bear to part wif their kids?? Its more than just 9mths of labour n 37yrs of bringing up... Its the time n feelings both parties had n developed tog. Haiz~ Thru'out the funeral, she jus kept sitting there silently lookin at my godsis foto. Eventually, she said sth to mi n tis left a very deep impression in my mind.

She said in tears,"都是我没有好好照顾她，姐姐才会走的。。。"

Upon hearing tat, my heart reali sank. I hugged her tight n cried, "这不是你的错。。。"

She kept tinking tat its her fault n the heavy rain showed tat sister mus be crying n dun bear to leave...

我的心好酸。。。 这一切太惨忍了。。。

I reali duno wat else shd i say except consoling her,"不要哭，姐姐会很难过的。。。"

Haiz~ My poor godmum. Its reali too much for all of us 2 bear. In my mind i was wondering if my godsis was bside us lookin at her family, her loved ones.

For the past few days her husband seemed ok but till the last day, while we were having the ritual he was sitting behind crying. And b4 moving the coffin, he went forward n hugged the coffin. Can u imagine the scene??? Having to part wif ur loved ones. Seeing ur wife lying inside. I felt the pain.

Haiz~~ 好惨忍啊！！！

At the crematorium viewing hall, when my godsis was being pushed out n about to be cremated, her 2 kids started calling "MUMMY!!!"

天啊！！！你怎么可以那么绝情！！！那么狠心！！！

Haiz~ i guess nw i jus nd time to slowly recover, to slowly 4get the pain...

Rest in peace sis. May u have a longer, happier n healthier nxt life...

It isnt a gd yr... Going 9 mths but there's nth especially good tat happened.

So many tings have happened in the recent 3 mths.

1st was my dad who's gt a heart attack.

2nd was my bf's dad who's gt a stroke.

3rd was my mum's breast checkup report. It wasnt a positive one. I reali hope we were all wrong. Pls dun let it happen.

And today, when i returned frm work. Mum told mi my godsis passed away tis morn. 37 tis yr wif 2 young kids in lower pri. Ard 2 yrs ago, she was found to have breast cancer. Went thru a tough battle n finally she pulled thru. Bt so unfortunately, she suffered frm bone cancer aft tat. Recover frm tat but liver cancer was nxt. And lastly, the killer - brain cancer.

She's been suffering these few yrs. It must b reali hard on her. Having to go thru all these at such a young age. Perhaps her leaving isnt a bad choice. Its gd 2 her, her parents n her family. But i just cant tak tis truth. It seemed too sudden. While my dad was in the hosp, she jus gt discharged frm hosp. Bt when my dad gt discharged, she gt admitted till tis morn. And tats when doc said she's left wif 3 to 6 mths.

All tis is just too much for mi to accept. My sis just left lidat. She used to dote on mi so much but i didnt even get 2 c her for the last time. She refused to let all of us visit her cos she knew she will cry. I wun blame her on tat. Cos she's the same as mi. I wun b feeling gd inside.

I will always rmb her as the pretty sis of mine. Always wearing pretty formal clothes n high heels to work n all of us having dinner tog. Bt she will only hav an empty plate infront of her, instead of a bowl of rice. Wat else?? Y cant i tink of animore???

Wat touches mi was, during my 21st bd party, i didnt invite her cos of her health condition but she gave my godmum a red packet n its for mi. She wrote,



Tears just cant help rolling upon seeing the red packet nw. Tat was my 1st n only bd present frm her....

I will miss u, sis. Rest in peace. I will play ur part 2 look aft godmum.

Goodbye~


留下来的人才是最痛苦的。。。

As usual, was waiting at yishun platform for train ytd morning. Bt sumhw i gt the urge 2 board the empty train so i stood in the q n wait. Aniwae, this is nt impt.

Impt part is, i saw tis train approachin but FORGOT TO STOP at Yishun. Ha. The train kept moving till almost at the end of the station, it stopped. I guess the driver finally realised tat he missed the station??

Was tinkin, wat would he do?? Reverse? LOL. Bt he didnt. The train continued moving aft tat few sec. Perhaps its bcos its gona collide wif the coming train if he reverse?? Cos the morning train interval is very short. 1,2 min.

Manage to catch many ple lookin with ??? n smiling. Ha. It was such a rare scene bt i actually witness it. LOL. Bt who dun make mistake?? Sumore these drivers gt 2 wak up so early in the morn n travel such a long journey wif hardly ani breaks.

Bt still, wat a morning joke. LOL.