hw shd i start???

tinkin........

i'm jus in a confused mind... v.confused...

am i sad?? no i'm nt...

am i angry?? no i'm nt....

then y am i nt happi??

wats happening 2 mi?? hu can understand mi?? hu can explain wats happening 2 mi?? explain y m i feelin so sucky these few daes?? esp 2dae...

hw i wish there's sum1 hu can noe exactly wats happening 2 mi n console mi.... cos i reali duno hw am i feeling... duno hw 2 describe it... so hw 2 sae it out 2 let ple console?? haiz~~~ i'm lost....

y am i nt born rich??? lidat then i no nd go work at all... no nd 2 fear of losin my job aso... no nd 2 tak criticism... no nd 2 b compared... jus 1 piece of paper can settle everyting... bt i dun wana b like the slutty fiona n her c-ple-no-up mum in the 9pm show

y am i nt born a perfect person?? a perfect person will nt face criticism, wun make ani mistakes, will b well-liked, will nt b compared and asked 2 follow others example....

argh!!!! y?? y?? y??

y am i nt 1??

haiz~~~

做人好难。。。 要做个人人都爱的人更难。。。

人活着到底是为了什么？？

life has start 2 lose its true meaning.... whr had all the happiness go 2?? whr had my smile go 2??

一个人的思想，在这世上，是永远不会有第二个人能够真正的了解。。。

haiz~ i'm super sick nw... sick 4 1 wk le... bt 1st few daes still alrite is these few daes super sick... haiz~ wonder hw am i goin 2 go work tml.... travelling is already a prob nt 2 sae stay in the super cold office 4 9.5hrs.... feel so weak, no strength at all... hu noes i may fall dwn sumwhr or faint sumwhr... haiz~~

been coughin 4 3 daes till i'm so scared of coughin tat i gt 2 endure myself frm coughin... haiz~ i reali nd sum rest bt havin a gd slp is a prob 4 mi aso... i'm afraid of wakin up wif a worse condition... haiz~

i'm gettin more n more sick...

more n more weak each day...

anrgy wif myself 4 being stupid?

angry wif the salesger?

sad??

heartpain over the money??

i'm simply veri confused 2dae.... lost for words.... duno hw 2 describe my feelings aso... feeling veri down... veri lost... duno wat 2 do... jus keep feeling tat i'm veri stupid.. veri foolish... i didnt even tink properly, clarify my doubts or even bargain over the price n i stupidly spent 260 bucks on a specs which i dun even noe wats so gd abt the lens!!!!!

i seem like i had been under sum stupid curse jus nw... a curse tat made mi felt so dumb... i dun even spare a sec 2 tink of hw cum i'm payin so much 4 a normal spec... perhaps tat salesger reali put a curse on mi when i enter her shop..

isn't mi stupid??

tink i'm the world's most stupid, most foolish person on earth... whoever opens a shop n wish 2 cheat sum1's money... can look 4 mi... tink i will foolishly be cheated n yet duno i'm cheated....

argh!!! y i so stupid???

is tat retribution?? cos i keep saeing ple stupid... guess takin mc 2dae is nt a gd choice.... it costs mi 2 lose ard $335 in jus 1 dae!!!!

bt then aft leaving the spec shop, my dear n i went northpoint n clarify wif the salesman over there... query abt the price of the watever shit tat salesger mentioned... at least aft askin i felt abit betta cos at least i noe i wasnt cheated more than 100 bucks.... at least is jus few ten bucks diff...

hopefully the specs is as gd as wat the salesger said... she betta hope it is if nt i gona tear dwn her shop.... haiz~

haha... went shopping wif my dear ydt at causeway point n bought 2 tops frm Esprit n 1 white dress frm Osmose... love the dress alot... n it so happened that its the 101th piece, the veri last le... haha... cannot get 2 hav the 1st so hav the last aso nt bad... haha... meaningful dress... 101th... wonder y they produced 101th onli... y nt 100??

aniwae its a dress i like alot... saw sum nice dresses elsewhr aso bt then all seem so long 4 mi... sumore i dun wear high heels so nt suitable 2 wear too long dress... will make mi look short.. nan de can get 1 suitable 4 mi de... hehe...

c the dress the model is wearing.... nice rite?? hee




aft the shopping, met yang n his gf 4 dinner at pastamania then they went 4 their movie n we went yishun gv 4 our last min movie.... "rob-b-hood" hee... the last movie we caught was so many mths ago... it was the show "over the hedge"... so long nv watch movie le...

"rob-b-hood" is sososo nice... a show i will recommend... a comedy show bt quite sad near the ending part... the baby is so cute!!!! if onli tats mine... haha... ren jian ren ai... so cute sia... no wonder tis baby was chosen 2 act in the show cos his face is jus too handsome n adorable... make mi feel like wanting 2 hav such a cute baby aso... haha...

tinking too much.... hee

omg!!! the weather is terrible... the burning smell is so strong...

**cough** **cough**

tink its gettin worse frm evening time till nw... when i 1st step out of the GIC building wif my frens at 6pm.... we were like... oh gosh!!! y isit so hazy?? so smoky?? tink 2dae's haze is the worse so far, 4 tis wk... its terrible man... everywhr seems so blur... so misty... eyes so pain...

when tis happens, my 1st tot is 2 quickly get hm, close all windows n on aircon... tats the best... ha... n tats wat my family did during the last time when there's serious haze prob n schooling had been cancelled tat time... tats when i'm in pri sch... cum 2 tink of it... its so long ago... bt nw the haze prob is back... best is they sae we dun nd go work... haha... tats the best le...

tink 4 haze, onli stud n doctors will like... ha... tink those doc will b earning like mad nw... ha... so many patients these few daes... tink soon i will b 1 of them... wahaha...

i'm dead tired 2dae... duno y jus feel super tired aft the lunch break... keep falling aslp n the more u endure n force urself 2 stay awake, the more painful ur head will b... feel so sick... feel so uncomfortable... feel like dying...

jus let mi slp lar... slp 10 min wun make the company lose money rite?? betta than latr i'm too tired then enter the wrong decimal place... tats worse rite??

tired tired tired.... when will my last day of ipp cum??? tink i will b half dead b4 it ends....

actually 2dae the time i spent in office was shorter than last few daes bt then i'm even more tired than last few daes... went 4 bloomberg course 2dae bt wasnt reali listening cos my head was so pain, so giddy... the world seems 2 b spining so fast n worse is i feel like vomitting these few daes... (i'm nt pregnant, tats 4 sure)

duno wats wrong wif mi... feel so terrible... even on train i aso feel so giddy n wana vomit... so i tot if i close my eyes shd b betta... bt then when i close my eyes, its even worse...

argh!!! wats happening 2 mi??

perhaps is cos my gastric is deteriorating... maeb is a sympton 4 mi 2 tak note.... can feel tat my gastric is nt veri well these few daes.... haiz... all cos of schooling... work... my health is getting frm bad to worse... tink by the time i grad, my body will b even weaker...

guess its time 2 go 4 body checkup n find out wats wrong wif mi... which component is nt working properly...

haiz....

adult life is nth bt work... sick man~

i duno wana work animore... its tiring... its killing mi....

help!!!

i dun wana work animore.... its sososo bored... so tired bt cant slp.. wan watch movie, wan go msn aso scared latr gt sae again n end up get chunks of work 2 do...

argh....

working is no gd at all... 1 mth of working n i will still the same old ting... working life sucks... it has nv made mi feel happi abt working b4...

it sososo cold here.. make mi feel so slpy n headache... bt yet i cant slp here... keep lookin at the stupid com infront of mi... lookin at the keyboard... looking at the clock... waiting 4 it 2 b 6pm... tink soon i will b able 2 memorise the keyboard arrangements...

argh.... tis is killing mi.... i wan 2 go bac hm... i wan 2 lead my own way of life... i wan 2 choose my way of living....

lao tian ye ar, y mus torture mi like tis?? y cant the time past faster?? i seem like i'm waiting 4 my doom here...